Never did time in the Guardroom!

[Arnie]

Hi Yall, as the title says, never did time in the Guardroom, except as a Guard or Guard Commander, which was BORING enough, but this shutdown
sucks.

Arnie,

[john kerwin]

Agree with that.
Been married for 52 years, and only just realised shes turned into an RSM . All she now needs is a pace stick . The only thing shes not made me do is paint the coal white, if it don't move paint it, if it moves salute it, but i refuse to salute the dog the only other thing that moves is the postman. And if I did he would most likely run a mile
Never realised I would miss going shopping, or just talking to other people. Well better hurry up or I will be late for morning parade

[Bill Bentley]

I did !

As a Junior Leader settling in was a struggle. Not that the army discipline was tough but some of the other lads were irritating. So, my being a back street punk that had always fought his way forwards, I was in Daddy Hales's guardroom several times. I used to know the number of bricks on each of the walls

Then I was sometimes just unlucky:

Whilst with 2 Para, after the Warren Point incident tour (which, I hasten to add, I was not involved in that particular incident), some friends and I went on holiday to Guernsey. One of the lads got drunk and a bit wild and so was arrested. I followed the cops to the station and tried to get him released: My reasoning was that they might be sympathetic to his being wild, we had lost 22 guys on that tour and had dozens of severely injured bla, bla, bla.
Instead I myself was also arrested and we were both put in prison, we shared the same cell and in protest I went on hunger strike . My mate went to meals and one time smuggled a lettuce and cucumber sandwich back to the cell for me, I refused to eat it, so the bastard ate it in front of me, I can still smell it today. The following week we were up in court, my mate pleaded guilty but I chose to defend myself, after all I was totally innocent ! The court room theater would take hours to write down, charges were dropped and I was released, just in time to get the ferry back to England . When we got back to barracks the RSM called us in, my mate got 7 days nick and I got 12 extra duties, because I had been the only NCO there and I should have stopped him getting into trouble .
The Colonel, my first run in with H. Jones (later awarded a posthumous VC), explained: The IRA used Guernsey as an R&R base. M.I. knew about this and so could gather int: someone in hospital there, just after an incident in N.I. = 1+1 . By coincidence it had been St Patricks weekend and the cops thought it unwise to leave us out on the streets, who knows what might have happend .

I also did time in Israel, Jericho, but that's another story

[Pinky]

Good morning from Alberta,
Barmy weather last week -10 and snow this weekend we had plus 17...…...got a tan!!!
!983 - B Sqn in Hohne - gunnery camp. First day - sqn on parade ready to get on the buses. Me and another fella Al Medley were late as we had 'trapped off' the night before!!
We casually drove onto the square to park up dressed in t-shirt and shorts. Al Beveridge was SSM who yelled at some Cpl to march us off to the nick.
We went to the block (MB7) got all our kit, started to clean and press it all until we were yelled at to get outside as we were taken to the assault course to get beasted.
About 2pm another Cpl told us to take all our kit back to MB7, get in our coveralls and get ready to go to the ranges...….we were both on the same tank, I was loader and Al was the gunner.....guess we were 'essential workers'.
Al Bev had in the meantime posted a sweepstake for the squadrons pleasure for a suitable punishment....I think 'crucifixion' got a few votes.
We ended up with range guard duty for 2 weeks day on day off and confined to camp for the duration. Happy days indeed.
HUSSAR
Pinky

[Arnie]

Hi Yall, I tell a lie, I did time in the nick, but my time in the Guardroom was hours, not days or weeks. Passing through Ashford, then the Int Corps Depot, and they wanted to find "volunteers" to act as Interrogation subjects for an Interrogation Exercise. Having had fairly extensive experience of the Interrogation Centre at Ballykelly in County Londonderry, only days and weeks at a time accompanying my Dungannon or Cookstown RUC Special Branch, (that's another story) I was looking forward to it. I was put in the Guardroom several hours at a time and interrogated several times. My brief was that I was gay, (very off-putting) and then given a "real' story and told to make up the rest. Acting is not my finest feature, but I thought I did a reasonable job. It took some time for them to get my whole real story out of me, the students some practice, and some time explaining to the guys afterwards that I was not gay. It would have been some scandal had I not been able eventually to convince them otherwise, me, a WO2 in the Int Corps with the highest security clearance. I would have loved to have met the bastard who authored the briefs.

Arnie

[Bill Bentley]

Na, Arnie,

now I understand why you moved so far away .
Never trust an int operator, they can bend in any direction to get their tips .

I also worked with the RUC, in Antrim, not Corp's, just low level stuff. When things got busy, some of the lads used to crash out in the cells, we full timers had our own bunks .

Then there was selection: following e&e, interrogation at Pontrilas, but I wouldn't call that being inside even if it was detention .

I like the other stories in this thread too, keep 'em coming

[Arnie]

Bill, in accordance with your instructions, I know basically meant for others, about keep them coming, here is anotheer diatribe from the very verbose Arnie. Accommodation wise on that last 2 year posting to NI, I had a very nomadic life.
When I arrived on the ferry at Belfast I was met by the guy I was taking over from, he had bought himself out. He gave me the Walther PPK and 14 rounds, the keys to my civilian Mini (where the Hell did Bond justify an Aston Martin). and we set off to meet the MIO who would be sharing the area alloted to me West County Armagh, Tyrone and Fermanagh. He briefed me that he would take as his responsibility West Armagh, and Fermanagh. I would be responsible for East Tyrone.
He would base himself in Omagh and I would base myself in Dungannon and Cookstown. He departed from Armagh, I only ever saw him a few times in the following 2 years. My predecessor took me on a round of introductions. Lasted, I think, 3 days and on the third day we jumped in the mini and drove to HQ in Lisburn. After that I took him to the Belfast docks and he caught the ferry.
I was left alone on the dockside. I drove to Armagh and as both of us had been doing since my arrival bedded down in an absolutely, grotty, soot ridden barrack room in Gough Bks.
Following day I drove to the old TA Camp on Castle Hill, Dungannon. Its was a Coy of the Gordon's there at the time and said I could use a tiny caravan parked in the camp.
All I had was what I stood up in and the contents of a small suitcase. After 2 months,when it came time for the Gordon's to be relieved by the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders I was told by them to vacate the caravan as they needed it for something else.
The Army seemed to not care how I was living, just get on with the job. I started moving between the cells of Cookstown and Dungannon and ate, where the young RUC coppers ate in the Staff Canteen of the South Tyrone Hospital. Incidentally the nurses, most of whom were Catholic, were a great source of information. Also incidentally, I, who was supposed to be working 'undercover' had only been there for about 3 weeks when messages from the "Boys" began to be reported by the little old ladies giving the patrolling soldiers cups of tea, "Tell that fat, four-eyed bastard we are going to get him". Vanity told me that they were not talking about me, but deep down I knew differently.
After a month of switching between these two police stations, the Station Sergeant at Cookstown took pity on me and arranged for me to apply to a B&B just down the road from the station, I send a lot of visitors to stay there he said confidently.
I went to see a Mrs McDairmid and she readily agreed to take me in. By way of conversation with her I asked her "if she was sure, because you know who I work for". Cheerfully she told me she she never paid any mind to 'those' people. The other occupants were all teachers from the Irish Republic who stayed there for the school days, then had the week-end at home.
Cautiously, mostly I didn't talk to them. After three days, in the dining room I was getting strange, quizzical looks from them. Then as we were all sitting down around the TV a news item, concerning an incident in Belfast came on. After that a whole evening was spent by them each relating tales about what they would like to do to British soldiers. Decision made, get out of here.
Next morning I told Mrs McDairmid, who appeared to have visibly aged 10 years in the 3 days I was there that I was leaving. She gave a huge sigh and said "I suppose its for the best. She quickly shed the apparent aging. Always wondered what she had heard on the grapevine.
After this, I started to pressure the Army into giving me an allowance to get some furnished rooms. Eventually they relented and I was given an allowance and spent no time flat in getting a furnished flat. Again the adventures surrounding that flat, in Portadown, is another story, for this one has probably bored you to tears.

Stay safe and healthy

[Bill Bentley]

No way is it boring, keep 'em coming !

I just find it amazing that the system let you feed with the dogs.

We had several different cars and about a dozen sets of number plates, which we swapped willy nilly.
I had an interest in cooking and could order anything that I wanted from the local regiments mess kitchens. My Dundee cake became quite famous and so our Ferrets would regularly visit the Police Station to catch up on events, but mainly to sample my cooking . It certainly benefited the 'face to face' distribution of information, in both directions, and so made us very effective both under the table and on the ground. My boss got an award and later ran one of the worlds best security firms.

I think it was there that I also honed my passion for knives, I always carried one as a back up, it was razor sharp and I could throw it with great accuracy. Not that I ever had to because, if you are switched on, the trick is to avoid trouble, but be capable of ending it if you can't .

[Pinky]

Just remembered another time.....
Myself and another Hussar (my best mate - Sooty Postle) we're going on leave. We had flights booked via RAF from Hanover to Luton - about 1982.
We were picked to carry out "prisoner escort" to Colchester. LUCKY US - NOT.
We had to travel in No2's, meet our fellow escort and the Cpl in charge at Hanover get briefed then meet the prisoners.
We had joked about the size, culture, Regt and colour of the prisoners then low and behold - yes one was a big engineer of colour.
The Cpl in charge was RAOC and the roundest, shortest, mildest Cpl I've ever met...….we were like lambs to the slaughter!!!
Anyhow everything went well until we got to the guardroom at Colchester!! The Provost Sgt there screamed and yelled at us all because we were all dressed in No2's. Actually it was funny when Sooty said "but Sarn't we are not the prisoners - they are"......the real prisoners laughed and pointed back at the escort saying " no Sarge they are the prisoners we are the escort". It finally got cleared up when the escort Cpl got out the paperwork and documents. Looking back we really were Fred Karno's Army.
Happy days.
ATB
Pinky

[bodge]

Very pleasing to see the site in use again.
Keep the stories coming please.
Bodge
Keep save.